just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.