Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What should our trivia night team be named?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?