The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?