I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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