I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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