maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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