So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize