So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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