apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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