I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
