This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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