u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
