I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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