I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
COCAINE IS GR8
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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