I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
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But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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