Best friends brother. Beat that.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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