come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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