just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
