Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize