and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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