apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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