he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This toilet bowl is my home.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
