Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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