You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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