so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
