And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
