question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
