I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
