doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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