He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize