Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
