When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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