If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
