I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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