So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize