I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
