they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Less talking, more tequila
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
