One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have demons in me.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
