I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize