I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
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This is my gift to your gina
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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