oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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