I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Need sex. Gaining weight.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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