So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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