omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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