she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.