He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
