I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
