guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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