i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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