I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am naked and annoyed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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