i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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