Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.