Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?