I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
